When I was little I loved being active, and was incredibly competitive. I grew up with three brothers and many cousins, so riding my bike, roller-blading, and just playing around and being active was normal. I did cheerleading and soccer during middle school, but I kind of lost the passion and competitiveness that I had by the time I got to high school. I’ve had issues with my weight since late elementary school, and my lifestyle just increasingly got less active and very unhealthy food wise
By the time I entered high school I didn’t have the self confidence to try out a sport, particularly volleyball, since I was basically 100% sedentary and very rarely left my house besides to go to school. I moved to Texas in 2010 during my senior year in high school and lived with my aunt and uncle who were both in the military and incredibly fit. I was around 325lbs and began working out with them and changed my incredibly bad eating habits; over about a year I got down to 270. Then college and uncontrollable freedom entered my life and over the next two years, I gained all the weight plus more back.
I’ve tried working out in gyms and doing at home workouts like Insanity and P90X, but I felt like I was always lacking or too inexperienced to know if I was being effective during my workout. It was also difficult to stay self motivated, especially since I deep down had very little hope that I could actually lose all the weight I had to lose naturally and without medical surgery. I think I’ve always been physically inclined, I just built up a huge animosity towards consistent physical exercise and thought there were better ways to be spending my time especially since most of my family focused on how smart and creative I was and ignored my health issues.
I ended up here in Miami in May 2013 on a Saturday, and the following Monday I was enrolled into Crossfit Unloaded by my Uncles Danny Tenorio and Michael Lofroos at the starting weight of 350 lbs, and about 10 months later, I’m now at 250 lbs.
My Experience at 305:
The first week was honestly a very shameful and painful experience for me. I had never been aware of how unhealthy I was, and was always in denial that I wasn’t THAT BAD. Being overweight for so long kind of blurs the harshness of your reality and the magnitude of the damage done to your body, so it was a huge wake-up call for me. That whole week was squat after squat after squat and I felt like dying after every workout. But I just kept on, ignoring the dread and butterflies in my stomach every time I walked up the stairs, and after the first few months, I realized I was beginning to enjoy the work, growing in experience and shedding pound by pound, discovering that I had strengths and found ways to improve my weaknesses. The sense of dread I once had is now determination to do my best in each workout and constantly improve my times, my reps, my forms. It is a huge stress reliever, and I feel gross if I end up missing a workout out of the limited few I can fit in my busy schedule between working and being a full-time art student.
I am so grateful and happy to have met such encouraging, motivating, and positive people here. My insecurities were short lived and I have been able to build self-confidence and motivation from everyone I work out with and all the trainers that have taught me. Frank and Bianca basically built my then non-existent fitness foundation during my first few months and have been so so so supportive, patient, and encouraging with me that I can honestly say that without them I would have been that huge crybaby in the middle of the gym having a breakdown about not being able to do the workout and I love them so much and am so thankful for everything they’ve done for me. Every single person there is a role model to me, and I’m just amazed by everything everyone is able to accomplish by their pure will and determination and commitment. It challenges me to keep trying my best, to enjoy my journey, and to never stop improving. I’m a bit awkward in expressing myself, but I really look up to all the athletes I see and want to be able to express my gratitude to everyone through my progress with my weight loss and overall progress towards a healthy lifestyle.
At first, a numerical value was my goal. I kind of started my weight loss journey pretty superficially, despite the healthy and thoughtful intentions of my uncles. My uncles have been the biggest motivators and supporters for me and my health and without them I’d be in a very different place right now, probably in a dark room with limited mobility but strangely an endless supply of Oreos and Chinese food.
I followed the food regimen, kept up with my workouts, but it took me a very long time to build a healthy mindset, and I’m still only at the beginning stages of one. After living so long with such low self-esteem and value in myself, I realize after losing 100 lbs. that I need to learn to love myself and not hate who I’ve been. I’ve placed so much value in how other see me that I never developed a personal intention for my weight loss, no internal end result to the hard work; I was just aiming for acceptance. During the last few pounds of the 100 everything pieced itself together. I need to be fully accepting of myself, to come to terms with my past and not let it dictate my future. It’s strange, but I always have had an inkling that despite all the work I’ve put in that I can still end up a failure and disappointment.
My goal is to have a happy mind, a happy body, and a happy way of living. A word I live by is eupathy, and it means “the happy condition of the soul.” So physically, I want my weight to not be a sad and stressful topic like it has been since I was 10, and I don’t want to feel weak or be perceived as weak. I want to be comfortable and pleased with how I am, and I want to be proud of myself. I want to wake up and look at myself in the mirror and have to resist the urge to kiss it. Or something along those lines.